Young and in Love...

In the beginning there is only the exhilaration, the rush and the all consuming devotion.

But of course it cannot be revealed. There is some complication.

Suppress you feelings and carry on. Try to forget it and move ahead.

At times you want to abandon all pretenses and speak your mind…or more accurately your heart. In the end you just lie down and dream.

You imagine possibilities of how beautiful the future might be, or you curse yourself for not having realized sooner… but the fact remains that she doesn’t know.

You cherish the precious few moments you get with her but they don’t ever seem quite enough.

You try to prolong them as much as possible, of course trying to be discreet.

She is blissfully unaware of your designs.

Every step she takes seems more endearing than the last. A new doubt begins to take shape.

What does she think of you? It festers and grows and now you begin to assume less wonderful possibilities.

You try to read deeply into her every word and action… hoping to find some speck of hidden meaning to alleviate your ever growing desperate need to know.

You imagine yourself to be taking action if you deem her present feelings to be positive.

You never receive confirmation and you never do anything.

You just sit and brood.

You feel afraid.

You feel she might move on and you will lose her forever. You want to do something but you are afraid to estrange her. And that is a very painful possibility.

You continue to wait and get more and more enthralled. She is still… almost gloriously in the dark.

At times your desires are nearly revealed, but you just cannot go through with it and make things clear.

The odds are simply too great. You continue to suffer in silence.

An inevitable separation looms… the doom of virtually all human bonds.

You face one ultimate choice, to shed your tears in silence for ever, or to finally take the chance you should have taken long ago. You may decide to do what you should have done way back. But now it doesn’t matter.

You may be turned down or you may find your feelings mirrored. The outcome is the same.

You lose her due to the parting.

Whether as a special friend, or as something more, is irrelevant. You can no longer stay with each other as you did before. You watch from afar as she drifts.

Soon it’s apparent that things are no longer the same. And once more you return to your dark musings.

You blame yourself for wasting the time you had. A part of you still prays silently and hopes against hope.

But deep down you know the truth. But you still think… think of what might have been.

And yet she is still, wonderfully ignorant of the part of you she never had the chance to know.