From a Corner...

Imagine that you are at a party… and there is no one there who you know apart from your hosts. You can’t expect them to focus all their attentions on you, so you can’t hog their time. You can’t walk up to random strangers… all of them moving in groups, and start chatting with them out of the blue. You can’t really leave early either… that would be too rude. It’s around this time that you realize… that turning up was a mistake. And you’ll pay for it, with an awkward fumbling evening… with only the company of yourself and the curious stares of the rest… all wondering who the glum bugger in the corner is.

Unsure...

Your soothing breath, your lingering touch,

Every moment I miss them so much.

Those long, cold days, I spent in your arms,

With your warm embrace and angelic charms

I can’t recall, when we weren’t together

So used to your presence I have become

We spent an eternity with only each other

And the idea of moving on… seems lonesome.

Rejection...

I watch you drift closer to me,

As we each move along our lives

You make me wonder, what you see

When you see me through your eyes

Why are you drawn to me?

An average ordinary boy,

What sets me apart, in your heart?

How do I cause you… joy?

We have nothing in common, never did

We should go our separate ways

You can do much better than me,

You have to get over your craze

Defeat...

“Thank you for reading this. I have something on my mind that I would like to share.

“First off… I would like to apologize for a few wrong notions that I was suffering from. Two years ago, when I was a freshman in the college, I had thought that it was us students who wanted to do more than what was prescribed in our curriculum… and our professor’s stringent adherence to the syllabus, restricted us. I had thought that like me… my fellow students wanted to take part in things they liked… whatever it might be. I was wrong.

“A year back… after the first failed attempt to start something new in the college I was doomed to be a part of… I reevaluated my stance. I realized that several of our teachers were keen on seeing their students excel. I felt that with their encouragement and the student’s participation… my college would at least begin its journey down the road that leads to more than success… to glory. It didn’t matter if I would be there to see it. The fact that it would happen was enough of an incentive for me. I was wrong again.

Career Choice...

Ah, the importance of choosing a worthwhile career… a sermon that has been drilled into my synapses ever since my twelfth birthday I reckon. Parents, caring (nosey) relatives, teachers (ok… they at least might have started on the theme a little later)… virtually anyone having any kind of conversation with a teenager always circles back to this topic. And typically, they start with… “So, what do you want to do when you grow up?”

For all of us who haven’t yet mustered up enough frustration to say, “What’s it to you old-timer?” this rings the bell for a few awkward minutes of introspective nodding along. It’s almost funny how our prospective careers change with every new bit of advice we receive… always from people with experience and our best interest on their side.

Blogging...

Some time back, whilst idly scrolling through the vast number of blogs scattered across the web… I remember reading a humorous post about the art of blogging. It was a funny enough piece… because of which I assumed that most of the interesting facts documented there… were unreal. I never followed the blog… subsequently lost the post’s permalink and forgot all about the things I had read there.

At the time I was still suffering from several misconceptions about life… one of which was an iron clad surety that quality brings about recognition. Needless to say, that I have learned loads since then… and consequently am even more cynical than before.

Being Funny...

I’m sure we’ve all heard it said that age and experience alters our views on things. As much as I detest and distrust anything dated… for once I have to admit, that whoever said this, totally knew what he was talking about. The views I had, say for example about the place of humor in the world, earlier… a week ago to be exact… have been changed drastically through the experiences I’ve had since then.

 I was never a doe eyed and fresh faced farm girl (trust me on this)… and yet, I had thought (foolishly) that I had some things figured out. One of these assumptions was… everyone likes a funny guy.

Mask...

I feel pain… I feel hurt,

Alone and forgotten… in this darkness,

I cannot share these… my miseries,

Cannot unveil them to the world…

They are secret… private wounds,

I have to keep them masked.

I have two faces now…

One that I show to the world…

The other is turned inwards,

Its expressions, reserved for me alone

Both are equally real… equally true

I only wish… my mask was my real face.

Attitude...

Attitude… it’s something that we all need to possess in order to make headway in life… apparently.

Being a prick… it’s something that seems to be a major way for buggers to pass time… certainly.

Before an average Indian kid enters college, or in a few cases the higher standards of some of the… ‘Premiere’ institutions of the country, the word ‘attitude’ has only as much meaning to it, as Webster’s feels justified in providing. After the eagerly awaited transition though… a dictionary definition ceases to suffice… by a long shot.

Humor...

Say you conduct a survey… you go around asking a hundred people whether they have a sense of humor. I bet that at least ninety-eight of them would reply with an emphatic ‘Yes’. And the rest… well, you probably caught them rushing to their office a little behind schedule. It would be awkward if they had actually replied in the affirmative given their anxious states of mind.

The next question you should ask them is… whether they would say that they, themselves were the funniest people in their circle. Once again a huge majority… say around ninety of them would say yes. The ones, who say no, not counting the two office douches, are either modest… or accurate, or utterly incapable of recognizing or appreciating humor in any case.

Hallucination...

Ghostly images flash and fade,

As they dance across my gaze.

A series of events, from a distant past

Illusions… from bygone days

Dark visions and premonitions,

Foretelling the things I fear,

Reminding me that history repeats,

And I never have a reason to cheer

Dizzy circles, burn my eyes,

Destroying my fragile calm

It’s hard to separate, truth from lies

And I block my sight with my palm

Resolutions...

New Year… the time for promises to be made and attempts undertaken… all designed to better oneself. It’s also a time of the year, to regret the falling through of the previous batch of resolutions. Looking forward with hope… and looking back with regret… all packed in one sweet little package called… the ‘New Year Resolutions’.

If you really follow the resolutions a person makes at the start of a new year, it’ll tell you a lot about what his previous one was like. Perhaps even more than he himself, is aware of. Also… it’ll provided you valuable experience in reading people (if that’s your idea of a useful talent), or amusement at the bloopers of your fellow men (if you are a bastard). Basically… there’s something in it for just about everybody.

Remorse...

It is quite an unusual occurrence, for me to be emotionally stressed. I am far more accustomed to going around feeling pleasantly blank… numb. I usually perceive my surroundings with a detachment more commonly found in stranded sailors, facing death on a deserted island. And that is how I see the world around me… deserted.

Empty of people… at least people who actually matter, the world I live in is barren… but pleasantly so.

I usually feel calm… I usually experience nothing more than a passing loneliness even at the worst of times. And even that rare change is almost… welcome as a break from the monotonous logic. The logic, which is the only governing factor that helps me navigate the treacherous ruins of a desolate world.

Music...

It is the ultimate commonality between complete strangers. No matter who you are, what your culture is, what language you speak, what customs you follow… you love music, just like me… just like everyone else. Of course when I say ‘just’ like me… I obviously don’t expect our favorite genres to be identical. Only the fact, that for both of us… there is some kind of music… that would sweep us away.

I am not used to writing articles… at least ones that aren’t satirical or depressing… but going over a phrase I myself had used mockingly sometime back… I felt that this would be one subject that deserves to be expounded upon.

The Artist...

Idle and lonely… in an empty room,

He spent his days alone.

He pursued what fancy, took his mind

And his name never was known.

Day upon day, year after year,

Left to his own devices

Working on things his whims supplied

Free from virtues and vices.