Shit Happens...

Taoism- “If you understand shit, it isn’t shit”

Hinduism-“This shit happened before”

Confucianism-“Confucius say “Shit happens””

Buddhism-“Shit will happen to you again”

Zen-“What is the sound of shit happening?”

Islam-“If shit happens, it is the will of Allah”

Sikhism-“Leave our shit alone”

Jehovah’s witness-“Knock knock, shit happens”

Atheism-“I don’t believe this shit”

Agnosticism-“Can you prove shit happens?”

Catholicism-“If shit happens, you deserve it”

Protestantism-“Shit happens, Amen to that”

Judaism-“Why does shit always happen to us?”

Orthodox Judaism-“So shit happens, already”

Televangelism-“Send money or shit will happen to you”

Rastafarianism-“Let’s smoke this shit”

Hare Krishna-“Shit happens, Rama Rama”

Nation of Islam-“Don’t take no shit”

New age-“Visualize shit happening”

Shintoism-“You inherit the shit of your ancestors”

Hedonism-“I love it when shit happens”

Satanism-“sneppah tihS”

Capitalism-“This is MY shit”

Feminism-“Men are shit”

Existentialism-“What is shit, anyway?”

Scientology-“If shit happens, see Dianetics p.137”

Mormonism-“Excrement happens (don’t say shit)”

Baptism-“We’ll wash the shit right off you”

Mysticism-“This is really weird shit”

Voodoo-“Shit doesn’t just happen, we make it happen”

Disneyism-“Bad shit doesn’t happen here”

Wicca-“You can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times”

Communism-“Lets share the shit”

Marxism-“You have nothing to lose but your shit”

Conspiracy Theories-“THEY shit on us”

Psycho Analysis-“Tell me about your shit”

Darwinism-“Survival of the shittiest”

Amish-“Modern shit is useless”

Suicidal-“I’ve had enough of this shit”

Optimism-“Shit won’t happen to me”

Explorer-“To boldly shit where no one has shit before”

Shakespearean-“To shit or not to shit, that is the question”

Descartes-“I shit therefore I am”

Freud-“Shit is a phallic symbol”

Lawyers-“For enough money, I can get you out of shit”

Acupuncturist-“Hold still or this will hurt like shit”

Dog-“I just shit in your shoe”

Cat-“Dogs are a shit”

Mouse-“Oh shit, a cat”

Politically Correct-“internally processed nutritionally drained biological output happens”

Einstein-“Shit is relative”

Family gathering-“Relatives are shit”

Materialism-“Whoever dies with the most shit, wins”

Vegetarianism-“If it happens to shit, don’t eat it”

Fatalism-“Oh shit, it’s going to happen”

Environmentalism-“Shit is biodegradable”

Americanism-“Who gives a shit?”

Statistician-“Shit is 100% likely to happen”

Hip-hop-“Fuckiing this shiznit, beeeatch”

Tantrism-“Fuck this shit”

Cynicism-“We are all full of shit”

Surrealism-“tish happens”