Laws...

We are all acquainted with Murphy’s Law aren’t we? You know… the pessimistic genius who so accurately stated those eight words to always know what to expect?

“Anything that can go wrong… will go wrong.” (Ta-Da)

Absolute truth indeed… as I am sure you know just as well as I do.

Anyway, so recently I was reading this blog… of a friend of mine, and I came across a reference to this golden rule.

It sort of got me thinking… surely the eponymous Murphy could not have been the only dude in history to come up with something like this… could he?

Therefore after a bit of research on the matter… and a whole lot of sorting out irrelevant data (I mean who wants to know all about laws regarding electric flux, huh? That’s right Gauss, I said it!) I finally drew up a list of universal facts, coined by other pessimists… some as worldly wise as Murphy himself.

15. Finagle’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will—at the worst possible moment.

An adage to Murphy’s… refining and underlining his brilliant observation. A fellow philosopher fine tuning the work of a contemporary… enriching it with his own satire and keen knowledge of the universe. Ahh….

14. O’Toole’s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

Short, to the point… and of course… totally true. Boy, this guy must have been one concise man.

13. Hanlon’s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

A voice out of the past… reminding generation after generation, to not get carried away by the feeling that they were hated. Instead opening our eyes to the very real fact… we are surrounded by idiots.

12. Clarke’s First Law: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

Sarcastic to the core… just the way we all enjoy it. He might have had some issues with scientists in general though….

11. Godwin’s Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

Too true! Kudos to you my friend… from me and every other poor sod who has been a part of those raging, all consuming debates over utterly useless twaddle and been called stuff that would make a child’s ears red for our efforts.

10. Gresham’s Law: Bad money drives good money out of circulation if their exchange rate is set by law.

I will have to take you word for this one. If it is any consolation… it does sound smart-mouthed enough to be a fact.

9. Herblock’s Law: If it's good, they'll stop making it.

Yes! That is so a masterly summation. Don’t you all agree too? And it holds up all the time… from when the law was formulated right down to today!

8. Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

Yes it does… and still it does. Good one my fellow addict to irony.

7. Orgel’s Second Rule: Evolution is cleverer than you are.

If theirs is one thing I enjoy (actually there are a lot… but we’ll get to those later) it is a direct frontal (usually none too flattering) assumption of an annoying bloke’s intellect. I bet Orgel came up with this when being harassed by some starry eyed academic looking to expand his knowledge. Poor dude….

6. Sayre’s Law: In any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the stakes at issue.

I concur. A discussion regarding our future lives and careers... even the ultimate fate of our souls, is held in thoughtful whispers. What to order when the gang meets for lunch…. Whew! All hell breaks loose when that happens.

5. Skitt’s Law: The likelihood of an error in a post is directly proportional to the embarrassment it will cause the poster.

Yep. Thank you Lord for blessing blogs with the ability to be edited by their freaked out authors when they realize they have misspelled the word ‘boon’ by typing something on the keyboard right next to the last alphabet.

4. Crocodile Dilemma: If a crocodile steals a child and promises its return if the father can correctly guess what the crocodile will do, how should the crocodile respond in the case that the father guesses that the child will not be returned?

Not a law, but seriously something that was created by a messed up bugger. He was thinking about crocodiles and children…. And talking crocs at that, which ask weird questions of the dad, whose response… is not what one would expect from a concerned father. It’s sick… but also kind of funny.

3. Linus’ Law: Given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

I so need to quote this the next time I am being berated by my professor in the computer lab. Totally explains why I missed the error by myself and he found it in an instant!

2. Brook’s Law: Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Well, even if that is true… please keep it down. Otherwise, we engineers are all going to out of jobs real soon.

1. Poe’s Law: The unit of poetry must be fixed by the reader's capacity of attention, and ... the limits of a poem must accord with the limits of a single movement of intellectual apprehension and emotional exaltation.

Noting it down… and will keep it in mind for my next poetic venture. But, tell me this… in spite of knowing all that… why on earth did you end up writing something like ‘The Haunted Palace’ huh?

Wow… who knew that a bunch of old timers (and some not that old ones) had it in them to make up stuff like these? Don’t stop now fellas… we want more.