Lame Names...

Every time we want to spend a slow(read boring) evening at home by renting a movie, or in some cases download them for free of the internet (no pointing fingers)… we invariably are forced to make a huge decision regarding the genre of what we want to watch.

Action or romance, comedy or sci-fi… rated U/A… or just A. Whew! Choices and choices….

And guess what? Every time we attempt to sort through the huge amount of options (both in the video store and on pirate bay…) there are a few in the pile… whose titles are bizarre enough to make us burst out laughing.

Being kind of a movie buff myself… I have had way more experience of these than what would be the quota for any average bloke. As such, I believe it is time for me to share with you a collection of the hilarious, weird… or sometimes plain nonsensical movie titles, which I have encountered in the course of my foraging over the years.

Put together these have brought many a happy tear to my eye while merely contemplating what the producers could possibly have been thinking during their venture’s christening.

15. Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?

The film also stars a character named Polyester Poontang (played by Joan Collins). Seems to me like Hieronymus, has already found true happiness.

14. Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Hellbound, Flesh-Eating Subhumanoid Zombified Living Dead, Part 3

Wow. Someone sure thought they were being clever.

13. Guess what Happened to Count Dracula?

Um… how many guesses do I get, and what kind of prize is involved?

12. The Man Who Slept

Is this describing the film or the reaction of some guy in the audience? If so… the sequel was probably called “The Man Who Left Halfway through the Movie.”

11. The Idiot of the Mountains

It appears that the film was named after the same guy who came up with the title.

10. Lord of the G-Strings

Erm…judging by the title… this might actually be ‘X-rated’. Oh well… only one way to know for sure.

9. Spaceballs

Sorry guys, it ain’t a porno. Although all of you who have watched it will probably know that it is a rather close run thing….

8. Baba Kano Chakor

A Bengali movie title that literally translated comes to… “Why is the dad a servant?” Need I say more?

7. Sami Kano Asami

This one here means “Why is the husband a convict?” Seriously people what’s with the third degree huh? How am I supposed to know any of that?

6. Dhakaia Mastan

Loosely translated it’s “The gangster of Dhaka”. Might have made a good name for a children’s short story… (You know… a ‘wizard of Oz’ type thing… perhaps…? No, I guess not.) But either way… it does not cut too well on the silver screen.

5. Challenge Nibi Na Sala

“Don’t accept the challenge you bastard”… I kid you not! The ‘you bastard’ part is really in the title! After such an earnest and heartfelt entreaty I doubt if anyone did take it up….

4. Mathar Sindur Chete Gelo Idur

Actually means… “A rat licked the Vermillion off the head”. It causes sheer pain to everyone like me to whom this movie name was created on their own beloved soil, by their own people...!

3. The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living & Became Mixed-Up Zombies

Mixed up zombies? Wow… now that’s a first. So that means… would their equivalents be the twilight vampires…?

2. The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini

Well… now if that means what I think it means… it might be totally worth watching.

1. What the *BLEEP* do we know?

Yep… some moron thought this would be funny. Which… to be totally honest it sort of is isn’t it? We can at least all laugh ourselves hoarse at the bugger. Just keep them coming man… you are a hoot and a half.

I am pretty sure as long as the entertainment business exists… stuff like this will just carry on accumulating. So this list will just have to get longer….

Here’s to hoping that filmmakers don’t grow sense regarding lame names.