Lonely...

Mindlessly I carry on,

More of an automaton than a living thinking being,

Every step and action is a reflex.

My existence… mechanical like a clockwork soldier,

Plodding on with no destination… 

Thoughtlessly I move through my days,

I pause not, to reflect on the past,

I don’t stop to contemplate the future,

I fail to heed the present…

A slave only to the compulsion of my own old habits…

Around me a sea of animated faces,

Colored dots in a bright painting of life,

Shimmering, glowing with zest…

They are all unique, all special, all an intricate part of the whole…

All utterly, terribly and devastatingly identical….

I am the single grey spot in this fabulous collage,

The one unanimated, almost un-alive piece of the mesmerizing jigsaw,

The unmoving rock in a river of rapid events…

Flooding its banks and sweeping away the multitude,

And leaving me unaffected….

I feel… strange.

I have long since come to terms in being the other-side,

The other-side in every debate… even the ones in my own head.

Yet somehow, it all feels different now. Different because

I realize that I do not wish to ever make even the slightest attempt to blend in.

I have accepted my existence.

I have made peace with my being.

I am comfortable in my own skin and wary of the world…

I am ready now to go where my faltering footfalls take me…

So, mindlessly I carry on…