Unattainable...

It’s been a long day… but I am not tired. I am exhilarated.

Things were going downhill from as soon as I opened my eyes... but before then things had been perfect. I had been dreaming of her… again.

The subtle colors on her quivering lashes… and through them the magic glimmer of her sparkling eyes… the image had lulled me to sleep and caressed me awake. It was a beautiful night.

The sleepy stumble into a lengthy shower… the warm spray cleansing the grime of the night… and my day has begun. Refreshing… rejuvenating… purifying… and just for a few longing moments… I feel like I am better than the cynical bastard I know myself to be. The moment that the water stops my dream drains away… I am back to being me… the skinny little twerp overcome with a world of pessimism.

I dress… eat… pack… and it’s time for me to leave. I catch myself staring at my own reflection in the mirror… trying to flatten the unruly black mass of hair on my head… as if it matters. I feel ashamed and turn away… and head out.

I can’t stop myself from scanning the sidewalks as I drive to work. Wishing… that just like the other time… four days ago… I can spot her.

The one speck of color in a grey and bizarre world... she strides onward past the dull surroundings.

I pull over and roll down the window… she flashes me a smile and jumps in. My day is made.

My senses are assailed as I drive on… barely in control of the car.

Her perfume swirls around me… enveloping me… consuming me. Her sweet unfettered laughter sails past my feeble attempt at composure. I feel my mind growing giddy just in her proximity. I feel my grasp on reality slipping. I can sense my harsh reality fading away.

I park in the basement and we take an elevator up to our floor. We walk out together and head for our adjacent workstations. My every step is measured… every action controlled. My posture and words… are just correct.

Work begins… I try and focus like I always do… and partly succeed. It wouldn’t do to let my infatuation take control of me. I would lose what little of her company I receive if I get fired. So, it’s time to pore over the documents… and ignore the silhouette on the other side of the smoked glass.

It’s lunch break… and I am ravenous. I almost leap up from my seat in my haste to ask her to head to the cafeteria with me… nonchalantly as always.

She’s not hungry… and immediately… neither am I. I cheerfully agree to help her browse through the car catalogues as she seeks to replace her Honda. I don’t want to help. I want to be the one who drops her off everyday… I want to get high on her essence before I get mired in my mundane work.

Work resumes… and soon it’s all over. It’s time to pack up and leave.

I work like mad to ensure that she doesn’t finish before me. And then sit around and slouch till she is done too. I only stand up and stretch after I see her blurred outline starting to collect her things. We exchange smiles… and I offer her a ride home… the perfect coworker.

The ride back is heavenly… her features glow golden under the halogens flashing by overhead. She is still as upbeat as when she had begun her day. And for the duration I spend with her… so am I.

I drop her off and race home to my own garage. I lean back in my seat and drown in the lingering aroma of her body. I can almost taste her laughter still ringing in the enclosed air. I can virtually see her seated in the seat beside me… arm on the window and head turned towards me… smiling.

The perfect woman… from her words to her movements. She is amazing… from her appearance to her scent. Alluring, captivating… sensational.

And for all those reasons… she’s miles beyond my wildest hopes. Her charms and beauty magnified tenfold… since she is unattainable.