Outcast-2

Siddharth was an engineering student… one of the fifty thousand in his city alone. Becoming an engineer was pretty much in vogue… even though students subsequently went off to study unrelated subjects, or worked in jobs totally unconnected from the field, it was still the thing that most of the intelligent students did.

For Siddharth, the situation was a bit different.

Siddharth had not chosen to study engineering just for the sake of the degree and its associated weightage in future job opportunities. Neither had he got into this line of academics owing to peer or parent pressure. To him engineering was not an opening for a host of lucrative jobs that waited him on graduation, let alone a tag declaring that he belonged to that elite ninety-nine percentile group of gifted students. He had chosen engineering because he had wanted to study it.

Now after nearly two years of being an engineering student… he considered the choice as a mistake.

Siddharth did not fit in. Wherever he went… be it school or college, he was at first liked by almost everyone… then eventually left alone. This did not bother him at all… he could not care less about public opinion regarding him. As a result he was pretty much the outsider to any group, and no one could quite fathom his thinking.

In college, what with the rising testosterone levels among his classmates, the situation was the same… only more so.

He was frequently challenged by them regarding his aloof nature… that according to them translated to being snobby.

Since he did not bother about these altercations either… things just got that much worse. However, being true to his own self… none of it bothered him in the least.

The most recent such exchange had occurred only the evening before… at his own house when he had invited some of his acquaintances from college over, to watch the game. He really wasn’t inclined to, but had extended the offer out of courtesy and a desire to be social and help out people who would otherwise miss most of the match by the time they reached their homes… situated farther than his own. In retrospect he need not have bothered.

By the time he had his home to himself again… his departing guests hated him more than ever… a result of another debate attempting to probe his nature. He himself was still as unfeeling as a rock.

Now sitting here in class, attending one of the few lectures that he found interesting, he could hear faint whispers among the ones near him expounding the incident.

He did not even feel contemptuous. He paid careful attention to the lecture… not bothering to take notes, but giving his entire focus to the professor.

This was another of his oddities. He could work with a lot of vigor on any task that he found to be of interest, and exhibited great lethargy to even put up a pretext of being remotely interested in something that he considered a waste of time.

Frankness and a desire to not be fake… it may have been… but it was considered by many to be an act in itself… a forced effort to appear debonair. He didn’t bother about what was thought.

As the class ended he got up, still with the mechanized precision of a robot… and just as expressionless… and headed for the door.

He was stopped by the professor just outside.

“Hello Siddharth, are you in a hurry or do you have some time?” Mr. Dubey enquired soft spoken as ever.

Of all the people that Siddharth knew, Prof. Dubey was one of the few he truly respected. Even apart from his inherent politeness even while addressing someone far below his station… he was a programming genius. For Siddharth… this was the only factor of measuring a man’s worth. That is, how capable he or she was in his field of work.

“Not at all sir”, he answered correctly. Politely waiting to hear what his teacher had to say.

“Actually it’s about the IBM TGMC project. You have heard of it… am I right?” he asked… peering over his glasses at the impassive youth.

Siddharth had heard of it. He was one of the few who had. To take part in it… and do well was a dream come true for any aspiring programmer worth his salt.

It was a nationwide contest for computer enthusiasts… and he really wished to participate in it. He had however resigned himself to not being able to do this, since the college usually chose the team who would represent it. To no one’s surprise… least of all his own… he was not liked any more by the faculty than he was by his peers. At the words of the professor though… he felt hope rise again….

“Yes sir” he said shortly and felt himself holding his breath.

“Well, three students have approached me about it and if you are ready to join them, then I’d be happy to register the four of you as the college’s representatives.” He smiled benignly.

He had expected Siddharth to gurgle with gratitude and thank him for the offer… and in short accept it without a thought. What he hadn’t expected was him to fall silent and look immediately doubtful.

As experienced as he was in dealing with students… Dubey was stumped. He had observed Siddharth closely in his classes and had realized his potential. So, he could not begin to fathom why he would not want to take part in the project and prove his worth.

The fact was Siddharth wasn’t interested in proving his worth. The only driving force for his desire to take part was to test himself against the best of his country… to find out where he stood. And he did not want to do that while collaborating with a bunch of people he didn’t even know.

And he had to choose between the opportunity and its associated problems.

He only hesitated a moment though… he decided he could suffer having to compromise for a prize this grand. He affirmed his willingness to participate and thanked the professor.

This would be the last time… he would ever make the same mistake.

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