Clubbing...

It is a dreadful thing to have to spend a rainy afternoon indoors, with no one else to bore with your company besides yourself. So, as the overcast sky that had been threatening all day, began to finally drizzle, I pulled on my coat, perched a hat on my head, and slammed the front door behind me.

I wasn’t too sure of where I was headed at first. I could go to a restaurant, a concert or even a movie… but somehow neither of those ideas appealed to me on this drowsy day. So, instead I decided to pay an old friend of mine a visit, Rufus.

We had been real close in college, and had still kept in touch after. He had been the first to welcome me to the city after my job had placed me here... and he kept badgering me to join his club. Hanging out with him would surely be an easy way to spend a few hours without feeling stifled in an empty house.

He lived in a quarter of the city not too far from mine, and ten minutes of sloshing through the puddles saw me reach his doorstep. His lodging was almost identical to mine… a bachelor’s Spartan abode, with no immediate (or even distant) chance of change to that happy status. I raised my fist to knock…

The door seemed to open of it's own accord, and who should be standing across the threshold but Rufus himself… a tad bewildered at having my fist an inch from his nose.

“What did I do?” came the slightly unusual greeting, owing to the slightly unusual circumstance.

“Oh, I was just about to knock. Haha… you seem to be going out?” I asked, amused but also apprehensive, I hadn’t made a lot of acquaintances here yet… so if Rufus’ company were to be unavailable, I would have to resign myself to joining a gaggle of teenagers for a movie… or mope around my deserted house… neither prospect seemed invigorating.

“Yes, as a matter of fact… and it’s great that you are here. I was just about to nip down to the club and I would be delighted if you joined me. I want to introduce you to someone there” he beamed.

“Oh! Sure... why not?” I agreed as there were no better options available to me… and there was no polite way to back out this time.

The truth was, I dreaded going to clubs of all sorts. A place where ‘gentlemen’ lazed about in overstuffed armchairs, puffing cigars and sipping tea in front of the fire, speaking in low voices of important events in unnatural accents… it made my skin crawl.

Even in the grounds outside the hazy room filled with the senior and more important members of the club… I was never at home. The wives and brats of the ones inside, all dressed up primly in white, to attempt to hit a ball over the net for no reason other than ‘it was what their friends did too’, ‘it was in vogue’ and ‘it was classy’… all said in a high nasal pitch that incited physical rage. I hated that pretentious attitude that seemed to permeate every stratum of almost all the clubs… and hence I avoided them.

Today, owing to Rufus… I found myself tagging along to just another of these affairs.

As we proceeded up the wide driveway, heading towards the sprawling mansion at the end of it, I could already see the snobs in the distance. Prancing around in impeccable white… an insult to any tennis player worth his salt I tell you. If only strutting earned you points… they would be winning grand slams… instead here they were whining over getting mud stains on their shorts…!

I followed Rufus into the building… not wanting to give myself a headache by observing them for too long. At least the boors inside kept quiet and spoke in hushed whispers… I would perhaps be able to have a quiet drink and smoke if nothing else.

Of course the inner scene was almost identical to what I had imagined, and my heart sank another notch. Old… check. White hairs… check. Armchairs… check. Whispers… check. Damn! Now where was the bar?

Before I could begin my steady submersion in alcohol… Rufus thrust me into a sea of introductions. A far more effective way to drown me, I felt. All I could do was to assign names to very similar faces, with a tag for each….

Some of the most common among the tags I assigned were… “Snooty”, “Fake accent”, “Red neck” and “Pompous”.

And so I proceeded through the evening with a barely suppressed rage, exchanging handshake after handshake to people who ‘welcomed’ me to the club.

Only one person stood apart from this mess. She leaned against the bar wearing an expression of sheer boredom which immediately caught my eye. Glad to find at least one fellow soul who no doubt found the proceedings just as monotonous as I did too… I walked up to her.

She seemed… so out of place in this setting, just as out of place as me. Almost as if some Rufus had dragged her here against her will too. Barely five minutes into a conversation with her… the first actual ‘talk’ I was having in this place… I felt like I knew her already. She was very nearly my own reflection… my reflection in a very beautiful mirror.

We shared a lot of hobbies, reading choices, music tastes in common. We had even been brought up in the same town. Our colleges had been situated a mere block from each other. It was a wonder how we had never met before.

All of a sudden, the club didn’t seem to be half as dreadful anymore. In the presence of this gorgeous creature, that had me so enamored, I doubt I would find even Erebus to be a drag. I decided to ask her out to dinner the following night before heading home.

So, you can imagine my horror when just as I opened my mouth to utter my invitation, she said… “By the way, have you met my fiancée Rufus?”
And there, appearing at her elbow like a summoned valet, was the moron who had dragged me here today....

After congratulating the beaming doofus… I mean Rufus; I finally decided to leave the accursed place… my resolve to never set foot within another club, now strengthened even further.